And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i came on her dog
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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