alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Let's get the cat blown out
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
