Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
