what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
