FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I'm like, not good at living.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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