We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
