Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
