I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
