that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
