try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
