Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
