I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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