The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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