where am i from again
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize