we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
