Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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