They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
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Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
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When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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