if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You are the jesus of drinking
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
