Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I love you.
Bad choice
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
