Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He better not be in your backpack
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
