At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
