the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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