I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
