I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
