You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
