i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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