told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
