I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
