Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
