We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
