I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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