I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
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