My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
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