An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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