so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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