Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I have fence marks all over my body
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
