so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Gay?
German.
Pity.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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