No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
