You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
