I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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