hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
This is classic penis vs brain.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
