you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
