Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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