she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
