just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
