Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
