you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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