Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
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I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
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This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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