Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
