Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
