no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
