would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Randomize
