he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Randomize
