i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
