id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
