I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
