id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
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I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
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The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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