i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
